Two More Days!

Two more days. In two more days my baby starts school. I can't believe it. Wasn't he just born?

So despite my best efforts to be "that parent" and making the request that he be in the JK/SK split class he is in the straight JK class. This isn't all bad.  I know they likely divided the classes based on age and because he's an October baby he's in the younger set which is why he's in the straight JK. And while on an academic level he's certainly ready for the challenge of the split class, socially, he's not. He's still very much 3 and not ready to be in a class with kids who are turning 6.

He's not happy about going to school. Connor is one who needs lots of prep and we've been talking about what will happen the first few days of school so he's ready. I said "Mommy and Daddy and Nana will take you and Mary and Emily to school. And then the bell rings you will go in to the school with Mrs. (teacher).  He burst in to tears and said "And you're going to drive away??"
Is it wrong that I lied?? "Oh no, no, we're going to stay right outside and when school is finished your teacher will bring you outside and we'll be there"

He's still thinking of daycare and while it's not that he didn't like daycare he wasn't thrilled about certain aspects of it, namely napping. We've explained that in Kindergarten there is no nap and, in our school at least, he doesn't stay at school for lunch, he'll come home at lunch and stay with us.

The girls are happy about who their teachers are too so I think it will be a good year for them.

I've tossed around the idea of dropping a line to their teachers to make them aware of my health situation. It's been a rough summer all around and I think as my treatment begins and I start feeling shitty from chemo and losing my hair it might have more of an effect on them. Not that it hasn't already but let's face it, I haven't been walking around with my boobs hanging out for the past 12 years so while they know I'm less one boob (and they've both seen the scar) it's not as apparent as it will be when I'm bald. And more so for Connor who knows I have a boo boo but really doesn't understand - explaining to him that Mommy's boo boo medicine made her hair fall out. (good luck the next time I have to give him medicine, he'll think he's going to go bald!)

I've got Mary in a support group for kids who's parents have cancer. Mary is an immature 8 and while she understands what's going on I don't think she knows how to process it. This group is facilitated by play therapists and has other kids in the same situation so I'm hoping it can help her deal with this effectively. Emily didn't want to go and I think she's doing okay. Her best friend's Mom mentioned to me that Emily and her bf have talked A LOT about it. (her bf is the one who's Aunt is a breast cancer survivor) so I know she's got support there from people who know how she feels and I'm finding that as she gets older and matures she's less afraid to talk to me about her feelings.

So on Thursday I go see the oncologist. I'll be armed with my list of questions and hopefully come out with a game plan, a time line on when chemo will start. I'm happy to be getting the ball rolling.

I've avoided the one obvious thought - the one Sean feared would send me over the edge when we met the surgeon. The preliminary pathology report was that they failed to find the source of the cancer within my breast. We knew that was a distinct possibility. I went in to see her this past visit expecting it. I mean really, mammogram, ultrasound, CT Scan and MRI and together those 4 tests could not find it definitely.  But - they didn't find it elsewhere either so that's a good thing.
It also means that they removed the breast for nothing.

I knew that was a possibility though and I'm okay with it.  I look at the positive side of it. One day, when I am cancer free I will be able to have reconstructive surgery. And the government will pay for it. And since you can't be lopsided they will have to fix the left one, give it a lift at least, AND they take your belly fat to create your new boob so it's like a tummy tuck too. I can find the positive in this situation - who says you can't have a flat stomach and great boobs after 3 kids!!

I'm going to spend the day with my babies, getting back to school hair cuts, making homemade chocolate chip cookies (there is no better food in the world) and enjoying the last couple of days of summer.

Have a fantastic day!