I'm quickly learning just how powerful the mind is over the body. If anything, this has been a lesson in just how important it is to really think positive as often as I can.
Since my first treatment, the weekend from hell, the one in which I began to fear the next 4 months, water has become my enemy.
I love(d) water. I didn't drink it exclusively but I liked a good glass to quench my thirst and we always have bottled water as well as a full Brita pitcher.When I went for treatment I brought with me two bottles of water because they said it was important to flush your system quickly. You see one of the meds meant to kill the cancer can also damage the inside of your bladder so you need to get it out asap (they want your pee to clear within 24 hours - you can tell because it's orange...thanks for the tip on that Deb because it would have freaked me out!) During treatment, one of the other medicines they give you can frequently cause mouth sores. So they give you ice chips to suck to restrict the blood vessels in your mouth thus lessening the amount of medicine that makes it into that area of your body.
At the time drinking the water and sucking the ice was no big thing. As I said, I like water.
Then the sickness came. And my darling husband, being concerned made sure I was staying hydrated by forcing more water on me. It makes sense really and is basic illness care 101 - if you're vomiting or have diarreah you need to stay hydrated - and even moreso in this case to spare my bladder any potential harm.
The problem is the combination of nausea, lack of food (after my initial throwing up) and 2 litres of water made matters worse.
And now, even just typing this post, especially about the ice chips (for some reason, unknown to me) I feel queasy. The thought of drinking water makes me want to hurl. The thought of sucking ice chips is even worse. When I was in the first hospital room at emergency it was right across the hall from the ice/water machine.
Last night before bed I brushed my teeth and decided to take a pain pill. My sciatica is back in full force (yay for a normal pain!) and I thought a pill would help me sleep, both through the pain killing and the slightly stoned affect. But since I'd already brushed my teeth I didn't want to take it with apple juice (my drink of choice right now) so I drank a tiny bit of water. It was all I could do to keep it down. And this morning the same thing. I didn't want to wait for my coffee to take a pill but I nearly lost my - well nothing, I just woke up, I had an empty stomach but you get the point.
I guess my love of water is gone now. I can't even think about drinking it without feeling really sick. I may even bring popsicles to my next treatment in a cooler bag so I don't have to do the ice chips.
At least until I can convince myself that water is NOT the enemy.