In 2006, (formerly known as the year from hell) I changed the start up message on my cell phone to "Today is a new day". Each time I turn the phone on I am greeted with it and it's to remind me of just that. Any of the shit you dealt with yesterday is done because today, is in fact, a new day.
I am re adopting that attitude. Today, IS a new day. Pity party over. I'm going to focus only on the positives of this situation. Number one being that I got to take my baby to his first real day of school. (and Oh, the drama!)
He cried. And cried. Oh, and then he cried some more. The librarian came out to help the kindergarten teachers wrangle their new charges in, especially the JK's - the new ones who are less than impressed with going to school. She saw Connor crying and Sean trying to lead him in, took him by the hand and said, "Let's go see your sisters....bye Dad!" Thank God for the librarian. From a teacher point of view there is nothing worse than a parent coming into the school with the little one when they are crying, it makes for a longer adjustment and a pain in the neck for the teacher who, while the parents eyes are on them are saying "oh, it's okay honey, you'll be fine, come with me" in that sing songy voice when in fact when the parents aren't there the teacher is saying, in the matter of fact, teacher voice, "You're fine, hang up your bag and come sit down." Not harsh to the trained ear but to a parent who is suffering just as much separation anxiety as their child...well, let's just say, I've seen parents who've had a harder time adjusting than their kids did.
Sean and I took a walk this morning at the beach. It was nice to walk, just us, no kids at our own pace and just talk. I used to love doing that when I had the daycare and we'd send the kids off to school and take whatever daycare babies I had for a walk. Only now I don't have to worry about strollers, diapers and snacks. (well, except for my Timmies)
I've had a few orders from my Etsy Shop and I'm inspired to start creating again. I've been missing the creative side of things, sewing and what not. I really think I'd like to learn how to sew with a pattern. I might go to the fabric store and pick up a simple pattern for something (what, I don't know) and try it out.
Actually, I'd LOVE to make a quilt....thinking out loud here....that might be a project to tackle. Hmmm.....
It's time to brush myself off and get back on the horse.
I find out tomorrow what our course of action is for treatment and once I know how it's going to affect me I want to start thinking about my fall Papa's Pride fundraiser. We were tossing around the bowling tournament idea but I think that might be too much of an undertaking at this point so I'm thinking now about the head shave. I was going to beat chemo to the punch and shave my head before my hair falls out and throw a party doing it. But why not kill two birds with one stone. So it's going to be a fundraiser. It'll be a $10.00 'donation' for those who want to come - that being waved for anyone who wants to get their head shaved as well. And at the suggestion of a friend I will try to Skype in anyone from a distance who wants to join the fun. And to make it more fun (and inviting to those outside of my immediate family), I'm going to try to wrangle up some door prizes and maybe if I can some things for a silent auction or a raffle. It might not be a bowling tournament but I'm sure I can turn this into a hell of a fundraiser anyway.
If anyone out there has anything they'd like to donate as a door prizes feel free to email me. And of course, we're always happy to take pledges for the Relay for Life.
If you thought I was annoying with the fundraising last year....you ain't seen nothing yet!! It's a whole lot more important to me now.
I've got my spirit and my drive back.
I WILL beat cancer.