The Plan

Houston, we have a plan. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

Oshawa, we have a plan.

Alright, silly time is over. Let's get down to business.

So, there was definitely no cancer found in the breast. My oncologist said it's possible that it's just so microscopic that it couldn't be seen. That's good. But, he did say that 15 lymph nodes had cancer in them. Not so good.

Let's pause to reflect on my oncologist for a minute. When I googled him way back in June I was terrified to go see him because he had 'bad reviews' from former patients. But I went to him anyway and really liked him. He's frank but he's also gentle and he takes the time to really listen and answer all my questions. So even when I'm not getting great news I come out feeling okay.

He told me he thought I was handling this all really well. I guess he sees a lot of emotional wrecks in his office. Fortunate for him it's been the surgeon delivering all the bad news so when we get to him he's just recapping.

I can't being chemo until my drainage comes out. It will likely be the end of September. So I'll be having 6 rounds of chemo (18 weeks), then radiation (5 days a week for I think 5 weeks) and then tamoxifen for 5 years. It's going to be a long road ahead.

I asked if it was possible that the cancer is not in the breast at all, if maybe it's somewhere else. He said that it is entirely possible especially with that many lymph nodes infected but again, it would be microscopic and that is what the chemo is for. Wipe that shit out.

I barely mentioned my back pain and he was writing me a new prescription. I have to say, that was relief. Today was a bad day and my foot has seized pretty badly a few times.

My bone scan was all clear (relief because I worried about that with the back pain and my dumb ass but cute chiropractor)

He said I didn't qualify for a PET scan, basically, it wouldn't work in this case. (I guess it's only for certain cancers?)

He also told me he'd write me a prescription for a wig so that Sean's insurance would cover it.

So next week I have to go to the chemo clinic to have a tour and get the ins and outs of what I'll be dealing with for the next several months. 

I left there feeling really good. I mean, I still have cancer but he seems pretty positive about it all. He keeps saying to me, "Don't you worry, I'm going to take care of you" and "If you ever need anything you call, I'll always see you"  I can't quite figure out how he got such bad 'reviews' because seriously, I couldn't feel more well cared for. I'm certain I'm in good hands. And most importantly, when I come out of there I feel like beating this won't be a problem.

Mary started her support group today too. She's in a class with 5 other kid one night a week with a play therapist who will help them sort out their feeling about what's happening in their lives. One of the other mother's has breast cancer and two dads have cancer. She wasn't sure she wanted to go and then when I picked her up the therapist said she kept asking, when do we come back again?

Me and Sean have our separate support groups too, next week. I'm looking forward to it. Emily is the only one who isn't going to one but she seems to be dealing with it okay for now. And she does have that friend....peer support at it's finest.

Tomorrow is Emily's 12th birthday. I thank God everyday for her and that I am here to celebrate her birthday with her. I can't believe how grown up she is now.

Well, I'm off now, I need to take some pain pills and go to bed. Night all. Sweet dreams and happy thoughts!