I wore my prosthetic for the first time yesterday. I'm not really supposed to be wearing it yet, I'm supposed to be fully healed. I still have one drainage tube in (hopefully it will come out today) and the swelling is still there. But I did anyway.
I was having a blah day. My back still hurts, I'm tired. My arm and 'boob hole' ache and I feel like we haven't left the house to do anything fun as a family since my surgery.
I decided to take the girls out for a going back to school hair cut. I got dressed and took a look in the mirror. Now for those who don't know me in person, here's a quick description. I'm not skinny, by any stretch of the imagination but I do have curves, I'm not just a round ball. I'm also big chested so if I'm wearing anything tighter in the top it's apparent there is only one boob. Until now I've worn mostly baggier shirts so it wasn't as obvious but I'm tired of looking frumpy. So I put on one of my regular shirts.
Up until now I haven't been overly concerned about going out. I'm not embarrassed by all this. It is what it is, by yesterday I needed a little boost. So I got out my prosthetic and stuffed it down my sports bra.
It's a bit smaller than my other boob (this wasn't fitted, it was the one they gave me at the cancer support centre based on my cup size) but you can't tell unless you're really, really looking. I was more worried about it shifting or popping out of my bra.
So I went shopping with the girls and I had two boobs....and I felt normal (well, I still walk like I'm 97 - but I looked like a regular, two boobed lady)
I could get used to this two boobs thing. It felt nice to feel normal again.