Saturday, December 7, 2013

Almost there!

I sometimes can't believe  that it's been over 2 years since I was first diagnosed with cancer.

I've learned that even though the cancer is gone and the treatments are over the aftermath still lingers. Of course, I'll know this forever just by taking my shirt off and looking in the mirror.

But to anyone else who looks at me - you'd never know.

My hair is long again. It's curly (when I let it be) but most people think it's just a natural curl. My eyelashes and eyebrows are back. My arm hair and leg hair is back.

My nails grow again (though they are still brittle and crappy) and the steroid puffiness is now just 'she eats too much' chub. I can own it.

I've even got cleavage again so to the casual observer, the only indication of the battle I fought might be my tattoo.

I'm one step closer to normalcy again. I've got the next surgery date for my new boob (aka The Newb)

On January 14th I'll go in, get my expander out, get my implant in and lefty will get a reduction and lift to make me even Steven. 

I can't really explain how this makes me feel. After the first surgery to begin reconstruction  I had second thoughts. I was in some serious pain and was also in a dark place with regards to my pain meds. I questioned why I put myself through it.

But when the pain went away and my demons with it I felt better and happier and more confident. I was thrilled to have my body back - to be able to wear a shirt that showed cleavage and not feel self conscious. It really was the best decision I ever made.

I said from the beginning of the cancer journey that losing my breast didn't affect me that much but I guess it really did. More than I thought because now that I have it back I feel like a whole new me.

I'm not sure what to expect with the next surgery. I'm scheduled to be off work for 2 months - whether or not I need that long remains to be seen. I don't think so but then, I've never had a double boob job before.

I'd love to show you before and after photos but I'm not gonna. haha.