In the words of my wise cousin - "Want to make God laugh, tell Him your agenda."
I could submit and just not plan anything because at the end of the day it's not me who gets to decide what happens but I figure if I don't plan anything and God is busy elsewhere then I'm going to be stuck twiddling my thumbs because I didn't have the foresight to plan something just in case.
I'm taking Emily and her bff shopping today. It was supposed to be the Eaton Centre but there's no way my sciatica will allow me to do an all day trip like that and I'm not comfortable taking them downtown while drugged. So we compromised on shopping at two local malls, plus lunch and when I'm all done treatment we'll take a spring trip to the Eaton Centre. Plus, next year, for her 13th birthday my mom and I are taking her to the States for her first official cross border shopping weekend. Let's hope our dollar is still at par then.
Tomorrow is house cleaning day. It's kind of fallen by the wayside as of late. You'd think with both Sean and I home it would be spotless but I think both of us are just not in that place. But it's time to get it done. A big clean.
Sean's been getting the 'get back to work' calls from his work. See, he's on stress leave for the past month and has a Dr's note for at least another 3 weeks. Our Dr (he's been my primary Dr. for 10 years but I've been going to him a lot longer - 20 years or so) will reevaluate and if need be, he'll give Sean another month without a second thought. He understands.
Sean's work however, not keen on paying him 75% of his income to not be there. But as long as the Dr is signing him off, there isn't a lot they can do except send him to their Dr. And let's face it, what Dr. is going to say that given the situation, he's not under great stress?
He's not going to be off for the duration. We simply can't afford that. But at least until I begin chemo and we see how it's going to affect me (us). Then when he goes back to work I'll have to enlist the help of family and friends with mostly drives to and from the hospital. My mom's role (among other things) is to be there for the kids - I don't want to take that away from them, they (especially Connor) need the stability of the same person picking them up from school so her driving me all over God's farm is not really an option. But there is plenty of time to work those kinks out.
So next week is a busy one. I've got my support group on Monday plus the photo shoot for the CIBC Run for the Cure. (I'll post a pic of my fabulous outfit before I go)
I've got the radiation clinic and appointment to meet my radiation Oncologist out here in Oshawa. Obviously that's a ways off yet but at least it will all be set up so there is no lag time between chemo and radiation.
On Wednesday, I'm so excited, I'm going to get fitted for my new boob. I wore my prosthetic yesterday when we went to Mt Sinai in my regular bra. It's not quite the same size but only noticeable to me. It was pretty comfy, I didn't notice it the whole time except the padding chaffed a bit (my skin is sensitive) but I'll get used to that. Most importantly, I was able to wear a tighter sweater without feeling awkward. And then Wednesday after school I'm taking Connor apple picking. I love the apple orchard and since it's my last day of freedom before chemo I want to enjoy it.
Wednesday night my brothers, my brother in law and my bff are coming over for my headshave. Two of my brothers are going bald with me (I'm not sure about the third one) and Sean is as well. I'm going to video tape my headshave for all my out of town friends who were hoping to see.
I'm hoping to not cry through it, we'll have to see. I'm trying to stay positive. It's not like chemo is unexpected, nor is baldness. Lots of people (unfortunately) go through chemo and yeah it sucks but they get through it. I will too. Unfortunately we have to get sicker to get better.
But I will get better. That's the plan. MY plan. And while I know I can make all the plans I want, ultimately He gets the final decision so, my friends, don't stop praying that that is His plan too.