Monday, October 10, 2011

Losing your hair is a funny thing. The other day I scratched my head and a clump came out, not a big one, my hair was pretty short, Sean had shaved it to a #3 but it was a clump nonetheless. I'd also noticed other hair coming out, if you catch my drift.

It shook me a bit so I asked Sean to shave me again, to a #1 so that it hopefully wouldn't come out in clumps and more so so it wouldn't make a mess in my bed at night or freak me out in the shower.

For the last two nights I've had a hard time falling asleep. My head has been ridiculously sweaty. I never realized just how much a persons head sweats and how much our hair sucks it up and we don't know it. Now that there's no hair to suck it up I've woken up, quite literally with sweat running down my head. It makes for a lot of laundry. Plus, my mind is messing with me. I imagine waking up in the morning with two bald patches, one on each side, because I'm a side sleeper and I imagine the hair being rubbed right off, much like how a newborn gets that cute little bald patch on the back of his head from lying on it all the time.

It's not actually happening that way, it's more like it's thinning out. It's a lot thinner than it was right after Sean shaved it the second time. But at this point, the stress of waiting to go bald is worse I think than actually going bald.

I have another chemo treatment this week, on Thursday. I'm nervous. I've finally gotten over the trauma of the last treatment, I can drink water again, in small doses though I'm still turned off of pizza (Sean is happy about that one and has suggested my post chemo meal this week be chicken wings - funny guy)  I'm hoping that taking the zofran this time will eliminate the vomiting. I know I'll still be nauseous which I suppose I can handle, as long as I'm not vomiting. I don't want to go back to the hospital.  I also take heart in remembering that by the Wednesday after my last treatment I felt exponentially better and hopefully this will be the same. 

My baby boy is turning 4 this week. I can't believe it. it feels like he was just born.

The other night we were lying in his bed reading If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. After the story we talked about his birthday coming up and all the things he could do when he turns 4. You see, Connor is all about the numbers and what he can do. He knows that when he's 19 he can drink beer. Apparently when he's 25 he's going to drive a fire truck and when he's 50 he'll drive a regular truck. When he's 16 he's going to drive me to the mall (oh, how I wish that were true but somehow I don't see my 16 year old son having any interest in driving his Mom to the mall.)  So when he's 4 he'll be able to run faster. He'll be able to jump higher. And...the best thing of all, he told me when he's 4 he'll be able to love Mommy more.
Can you say Heart Melting. I love that kid.

He got a toonie from my brother yesterday and he hasn't let go it since. He also got a $20 from my brother in law and if it weren't for the fact that I'm worried he'll rip it, he'd not let go that either. Connor is a bit of a tightwad. He doesn't like to buy things with his money, he likes to just hold on to it. I see riches in his future.

Mary has decided to be a skunk for halloween this year. I love it. She always comes up with the most creative costumes and best of all they are usually things I can make. (like the sock monkey last year!)
Emily is going to be a bee. She bought hers at Claire's and truthfully, it's a pretty cute costume. I suspect this will be her last year trick or treating. She'll likely go out with her bff again. I think for them it's more about hanging out and walking around at night than it is about candy. (Silly girl!)

Well, I'm going to take advantage of this Thanksgiving Monday and everything being closed to get some sewing done. There is no temptation to go anywhere because everything is closed and there's nowhere to go.

Have a happy week!

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