I'm having so much anxiety right now.
How will the surgery be done - local or general? And if it's general will I have complications?
What did the CT scan show?
What will my lymph nodes show?
Is the beginning of a new life? And if so is it the new life in which I've had a bad scare and turn over a new leaf and appreciate life that much more or one in which I fight for that very life?
I'm no good not being in control. I'm no good at not knowing. Patience is a virtue...but it's not one of mine. I feel bad for being so distracted and no fun for the kids and easily irritated and I feel like I'm yelling at them and getting frustrated with them for no good reason. It's not their fault and they deserve better.
I've truly never been more scared.