Monday, August 22, 2011

Worst. Sleep. Ever.

I will preface this post by saying that I still have some meds in me so if this post is jumpy or doesn't make a whole heap of sense - that's why.

Ironically it's not my arm/breast/armpit area that is bothering me. It's my lower back. I really should have gone ot the chiropractor before the surgery.

I'm only able to sleep on my back (though I might try to sleep on my left side tonight) and for the last 2 days no one would let me do anything except sit or lay down. So my lower back has seized up. I've been taking the pain meds for the surgery but truth be known they are more for my back.  The thing is, last night before bed, I only took one, thinking, I'm not needing to be as heavily drugged since I'm not hurting that mu ch in the srugical area. Bah. I woke at 2 am to pee and my back was already sore. I woke at 5 am in pain so bad I couldn't even sit up and Sean got me a pill. I dozed as the wave came over me but when I woke at 7 am I was still sore.  It's almost worth it to me to be in a drug enduced haze just to be pain free for a while. So, I think I might take one during the day when I'm able to be up and around to stretch my back but at night before bed, I'm taking two.

The surgeon told me there was a chance of nerve damage with the surgery. I've discovered that I have no feeling in the back of my right arm, up near my armpit. Every now and then I get a burning pain there, like a muscle pulling so I think it must be the nerves reattaching. I'm not overly concerned if I don't get feeling back there just so long as that pain doesn't continue.

So, now I've moved on to being bored. Yep, bored. I'm a doer. I'm not a sit around and watch kind of person. I can only lounge for so long and because my mind is not foggy (well, except when I'm drugged...I slur a bit) I feel like I want to get up and do something; go shopping, cook supper, take a walk. Of course, beyond cooking supper, none of these are options. I have the drainage tubes in. As Sean says, they kind of look like bull testicles hanging from my shirt. I've got them pinned up but I've changed clothes and I'm wearing Sean's shirt - it's not as long and so the bulbs show at the bottom a bit. Clearly I should have bought more than one pair of button up pj's. Needless to say, it's not a pretty picture and not something I'm going to venture out in public with. 

I'm going to have to get used to this holding pattern for a bit. No outings, no appointments, no game plan, limited mobility....thank God for the internet and for my Kobo. And thank God for friends and family who are keeping me sane.  

Today will be a better day.

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