Control

I am a control freak. There is no arguing about it and I readily admit it. It's why I fear flying, it's why I'm a terrible passenger in a car, it's why things are not done right if they are not done my way.
I try to go easy on people, it's not their fault I need to be in control but when I'm not it makes me anxious.

Right now, I am so bloody anxious I'm about to crawl out of my skin. My heart is pounding, I feel nauseous and I can't think of anything else.

I got a phone call on Sunday night asking me to come for an interview with the Toronto Catholic District School Board to work as an ECE within the Early Learning Program. I'm pretty sure I mentioned this somewhere in the blog, that I'd applied to 4 different school boards for this position. Well, got the call and as my brother in law told Sean once, the hardest part is over now. It's my job to lose.
Here's the catch. The lady said to me "Bring your references with you." (Jesus, I'm getting even more queasy just typing it)
References? Shit. Well, typically when a daycare parent asks for references I point them to my daycare parents. HA. I can't go that route. I can't tell my clients I'm interviewing for an actual job, outside of my house, no more home daycare, find someone else.....

So I facebooked an old client, a mom who've I've gotten friendly with since her kids left my care and asked if she would be so kind as to do me a letter. That was on Sunday night and she replied that she most certainly would and would work on in Monday. I said great, thanks you can email it to me and I'll print it. It's Tuesday and I don't have a letter yet. I realize that the interview isn't until Saturday but I need to be in control and know I have my references lined up. Because without the references I don't stand a chance at the job!

I called my former employer at the daycare. I've been in contact with her several times over the past few months, she's helped me with some school things. So I thought, perfect, I can use her for a reference. I left her a message on voicemail yesterday morning. No return call yet. SHIT!
I'm going to drop by the daycare today I think.

My mom also mentioned my "oldest friend". She's a girl I've known for over 30 years now. We went to kindergarten together (ironically in the same school I hope to work in - and her kids will be going to school there this coming fall) So my mom called her and then I called her as well. She's apparently anxious to give me a reference, though I haven't spoken with her myself yet.

So I wait. I don't like to wait, it makes me feel out of control. I need my references lined up so I can go into the interview armed. If I don't have the references I may as well not even go to the interview. I'm not a last minute person I'm a right now person.

Well, I guess these people can add into their references that I'm pushy and naggy because I'm going to be on them like a bum on a bologna sandwich until they hand the references over.