Saturday, September 12, 2009

Feeling down.

I've been missing my dad a lot lately. It's just little things, like I'd be in the backyard with the kids and he'd come out and say hi. Or I'd take Connor downstairs to do laundry and he'd go to my Dad's room and give him his remotes and shoes.

Connor's birthday is coming up and I know my mom is making him a coat out of my Dad's coat. Everytime we were in the dining room and my Dad would come up Connor would tell my Dad to put his coat on and go out the door (my Dad would smoke in the garage so his coat was always hung at the back door) That conversation was 'their' thing.
When he got sick my Dad told my Mom that she'd have to wash out his 'garage coat' and save it for Connor. It's one of the few items of clothing my Mom kept of his and she's got it all cut into the pattern for a coat for Connor now. I saw it down there the other day and I think that is why I'm feeling so down.

As adults my Dad and I were not really really close, despite his living here. He wasn't one for chit chat but I still remember the last real conversation we had together, about 3 days or so before he died. It's his presence that I miss most of all. Just knowing he was there was enough and I miss him so much.

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