Monday, February 13, 2012

I Just Don't Get Valentine's Day

I know it sounds a little cliche to say "I don't need a day to tell me to tell my husband that I love him" but it's the truth.

I don't understand valentine's day. I used to, way back in the day when having a boyfriend on valentine's day was a novelty or when Sean and I were in the infancy of our relationship and we did silly little things like flower petals on the bed or tissue paper hearts hanging from the room.

But I grew up. Our relationship grew up.

We still go out for dates. We still do romantic things with one another. The most romantic thing he's done for me that I can think of right now is his holding my hand while I got chemo or holding hair while I was sick from said chemo. Or telling me I'm still beautiful despite the missing boob and fuzzy head.  That puts any sentiment Hallmark can dish out to shame. I don't need chocolates or dinner or flowers to know my husband loves me, he shows me every single day in the little things he does.

Moving on.

I spoke with my radiation therapists today about my sore throat (which is starting to feel a little better) They don't think it's from the rad treatments because while the beam does get my neck area it's coming in from the side and shouldn't affect that particular area. They suspect it was from my cold. I'm not convinced but I'll follow up with my oncologist.

Ironically, I've noticed today that my body is aching and, in particular my fingertips are sore, like they were after my taxotere treatments. Sore throat, sore body, sore fingers....but it's been 6 weeks since my last tax treatment so I shouldn't feel this way. But then, who said this whole crappy process would be predictable.

I read somewhere today that size 12 is the new plus size for models and clothes. Size 12, really? I'm a 12-14 depending on the clothes. Not that I'm complaining really, because I don't want to look like a wafer thin bony girl. I like my curves. Of course, I'd like a little less curves. I 'm working on it.
I've got to find a physio therapist or personal trainer who's trained in lymphedema because I don't want to run the risk of further injuring the area. Until then, I'll stick to light exercise and cardio (I'm looking forward to joining an aquafit class in the spring when I'm allowed to swim again.

Only 9 more radiation treatments to go. Hooray for me!!

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