Somethings been bothering me for a few days and I need to get it out.
The internet is such a powerful thing, something much more powerful than I think many of us realize. You've all heard me talk endlessly about the wonderful group of women I've come to know (in a virtual sense) and care for because of the internet. I've never met any of them, though I hope to one day, but we still laugh together, cry together and gripe about our husbands, kids and jobs together.
Just look at this blog. I started it as a diary of sorts. I type faster than I can write by hand so it gave me an outlet. When my dad got sick it turned into a communication tool. It was easier (both emotionally and logistically) to update everyone on his progress through my blog. And after he died it went back to my random ramblings, only now I had an audience which, if anything, has kept me honest. Truth is, beyond a few people who I know for sure are reading, I don't know who does and doesn't.
I've also learned a lot from the internet. Really, anything you need to know, it's there if you know how to find it. I'm slowly mastering my photoshop software thanks to YouTube tutorials. I'm learning about certain philosophies of Early Childhood Education that were never covered when I went to college 15 + years ago but are very relevant in the field today. I'm able to find information everything from baking to fixing my transmission (not that I'm going to - have you ever tasted my baking. HAHA)
But now I come to what's bothering me.
I was passed along a story, a six degrees of separation type of thing, a person I know who knows someone else who knows someone else who knows this family....
a little 2 yr old girl is dying of cancer. That day I read the mom's blog from the start with her diagnosis in May 2009 to now, where she is near the end and my heart broke. I actually started crying to Sean when he came home from work that night and I think "how ridiculous, you don't even know these people" but I do know this. I have a two year old. And I've seen someone die from cancer. And those two things together....well I can't even begin to fathom.
And since that day I've bookmarked the blog so I can keep reading, each time I do my heart breaks more but I marvel at the strength of her parents (and of her!) and I feel horrible that things like this even exist. Babies aren't supposed to die from cancer.
I've read several times now that her mom feels that purpose in life has been served, she's brought people together and on this end I can say that's true. Because since I read that blog I hug Connor (and the girls) a little longer. I check my temper when they are misbehaving and I spend 5 minutes more playing trucks and Barbies....because you just never know.
I won't leave you without a link, for those of you not in the know. You can read her blog here.
And I'm certain, as I did, after you read it you'll have a new found appreciation for your life and the gifts you've be given.