10 Things Your Daycare Provider Wants You To Know.

I've been a home daycare provider for 7 years now. 7 long years. Don't get me wrong, I love it and though I do occasionally dream of a career change, one that involves me getting dressed in something beyond yoga pants or jeans and going to meetings and having co workers, I think I would be unhappy doing anything else.



But it's not all sunshine and lollipops. (or should that be it's not all fingerpainting and dress up?) This career has a very high burn out rate and when it hits, it hits hard. In fact, most ECE programs have courses just on dealing with stress and ways to avoid burn out. Of course much of it is of little benefit to those of us who do this at home because the simple fact is, we don't have co workers to support us. We are on our own.

More often than not, if you speak to a home daycare provider they will tell you that what burns them out fastest isn't the kids, the monotony of being home everyday, the noise (oh the noise). It's the parents. Let me repeat that. It's the parents.



So for my mommy and daddy friends out there, I'm going to offer you some tidbits. Please don't take offence, they are not meant to be so but they need to be said. Now remember these tidbits are not the case for every daycare provider...but they are for most of the ones I know.



1. Yes, we love children. This job is way to hard and doesn't pay anywhere near enough to warrant anyone doing it for any other reason. BUT - we also love when the children go home. We are tired, our houses are a mess and we still have 45 things to do before we can sit down because most of us are parents too. Please, when you come to pick your kids up, don't linger for 30 minutes chatting. Get your kids, say what needs to be said and go. If you have something of importance to discuss either come early or call and arrange a time to talk because we'd just like to get dinner on the table.



2. We like you. The key to any good daycare arrangement is a feeling of mutual trust and respect between the parents and provider. But for a good many of us the relationship will remain professional. I am not going to be your friend. We are not going to have weekend playdates. It's nothing against you or your child but it's hard to maintain professional lines when you are buddy buddy with clients. Parents then may feel it's okay to take certain liberties and providers feel a little more uncomfortable enforcing policies. It's just bad business. We can be friends after your children are no longer in my care.



3. We do not watch tv, surf the net, play video games and eat all day. We also don't play playdough, paint, play cars or Barbies all day. This is a not an easy job. We are actually very busy. We are changing diapers, cleaning noses, breaking up fights, tidying, cooking, planning, monitoring. We often have 11-12 hour work days and unlike most people, we don't get coffee breaks or lunch breaks. Half the time we're happy just to get into the bathroom without a few pairs of hand banging on the door.



4. Please do not drop your child off to daycare and say any of the following things: "I am bringing him/her because I am going to get groceries, I'm going to do laundry, I'm going to run some errands, I'm going to nap, I'm going to tidy the house, I'm going to relax." Don't ever imply that you are going to 'get things done' because you can't when your child is home with you. Simply put, this makes you look bad. Most daycare providers have to get meals cooked, houses tidied, laundry done and errands completed with all the kids right there. We work long hours and this often means throwing a load of laundry in while the kids are napping and folding it while they play or getting supper cooked because some of the kids are here until 6 pm. If we can cook a spaghetti dinner with 6 kids underfoot you can handle getting groceries with one. So please don't whine to us about how you can't do it. We aren't buying it.



5. Daycare is work for children. They are often here for upwards of 10 hours a day. In that time they must play, follow rules, share, negotiate, learn, lead, follow and tidy up. It's hard work for a little person. And like anyone else, they like a break from work too. There is nothing wrong with children going to daycare to socialize and learn. But if you work full time and your child attends daycare full time, please do not send your kids to daycare when you are on holidays. They want a holiday too. They want to spend time with you. Because as much as they love daycare and they love us, they love you more.



6. As an attachment to numbers 5 and 6. Please don't ever use the following phrase "since I'm paying you anyway" When you break it down, you pay us roughly $3 an hour and saying something like that sounds like that $3 an hour is more important to you than time with your child. Lose that sentence from your vocabulary.



7. Pay us on time. Every. Single. Week. I don't know anyone who does this job for fun. It's paying bills. And I'm willing to bet that most, if not all of you, get paid on time every payday. We expect the same. It also leaves us wondering, why you would ever in a million years consider it okay to not pay the person who is caring for your most precious possession.



7. Respect our rules. Most providers have contracts and policies. They have been written out of necessity. Unfortunately too many people think it's acceptable practice to drop their kids off to daycare with green snot dripping out of their noses or 4o minutes early or sending them with peanut butter smudges all over their clothes in a peanut free home. Remember, first and foremost, these are our homes. Don't bang on the door at 7 am, don't track your mucky boots on my rug. Show me that you respect me both as a professional and as a fellow human being. And please also respect my family and my house.



8. Remember we are professionals (this is not the case for all - but for many) Many of us have ECE backgrounds. We know our stuff. Remember that why you chose us. Trust us unless you have a genuine reason not to. This is especially so for new moms. Many of us are experienced parents and daycare providers. We are not new to children, raising them or teaching them. We do want your input but you need to trust that we do have a clue. There is no need to remind us that your 6 month old doesn't eat grapes. We are also not going to try potty training your 9 month old. Please feel free to address us with concerns you might have but do not talk down to us. We want to be able to work together for the best interest of your child. We recognize you as being the parent and will not undermine that - but we also know what works.



9. Your child is not the only one here. Exceptions can sometimes be made but we have to meet the needs of many children and families at once. Please don't ask us to favour your child over the others, to bend the rules or adjust the schedule in a way that will affect the other negatively. It's just not going to happen.



10. You scratch our back we'll scratch yours. If you stick with the above we'll be more inclined to overlook the scattered late pick up or be a little less miffed when you chose to go for a mani/pedi instead of taking Jr. to the zoo.

A happy provider is a good provider. If we feel as though we are appreciated, respected and valued we don't burn out nearly as quickly which means a happier, healthier environment for your child.