When I was diagnosed I tried to find a bright side to things. I figured that chemo would make me loose some weight. No one told me that they load you up with steroids and you actually put on weight.
So, despite having a body part removed I've managed to gain almost 20 lbs since last year.
Well, it's time to change that.
Yesterday I joined the gym again.
I've never been in fabulous shape. (well, not entirely true, when Sean and I dated I was able to go roller blading in my really short shorts and bikini top and I didn't look like I had no business being dressed that way)
But when I was going to the gym last year I'd made it my goal to be able to run a 5k. I was going slow with it but I was getting there. Then cancer got me.
My cardiovascular health is crappy. I get winded walking up the stairs. But I got my fat butt on that elliptical and went for 20 minutes. Blah. 20 minutes and I was done. Sad. I could have pushed myself further but thought against it. My body has been put through the ringer this past year and I don't want to overdo it too quickly.
Now here's the thing. I hate, HATE cardio at the gym. I hate the elliptical. I hate the treadmill. I don't do the stair stepper or the bikes. But I do it because I know it's the key to weight loss. So, to reward myself I do what I love after my cardio. Weights. I don't do anything too heavy, I'm not trying to bulk up, just tone. So I stick to about 20 lbs.
Yesterday I decided to try a new machine. I don't know what it's called but I call it the 'crunch' machine. You are working your abs. Except that in my 3rd rep I felt a weird shifting in my upper right abdomen area, just below where my breast once was. It felt like a hernia. I stopped immediately and stretched myself out. It went away but it scared me. No more crunch machine for me.
Sean was mad, he said I shouldn't be doing any weights at all. My Dr didn't tell me to avoid them. I'm going to ask again though, just to be sure.
Today is a big day. I'm going to meet the plastic surgeon to talk about my reconstruction surgery. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. Wish me luck that there are some good options!!