Wednesday, July 25, 2012

30 Things - #11

To find out what this is about click here

This one will be fun. Everyone loves to complain and really, what are pet peeves if not complaints!

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. People who talk on their cell phones during breakfast/lunch/dinner/drinks with friends.

This also includes texting, browsing the internet and all other electronic methods of ignoring the people who are right in front of you.

Besides the fact that it's horribly rude to talk on the phone in a restaurant imagine how the people who are sitting with you feel. You're in essence saying "I'm happy to spend time with you but if a phone call or an interesting text message comes in you're on your own. And if you're truly boring, I'll check my facebook and twitter while we chat."

Here's the thing. Unless you are on call for work or it's your babysitter calling to tell you that your house is on fire and Junior is bungee jumping from the roof, chances are it's nothing that can't wait an hour.

I'm clearly not the only person who feels this way. There is a 'game' that people are playing while out at restaurants now in which everyone stacks their phones on the table. The first person to take their phone off the stack to answer a call, text or browse the internet is responsible for the restaurant bill for the group.

I'm ordering ONE OF EVERYTHING because I know I won't be the one paying the bill!!

I may start this game up at our house parties too. If you take your phone off the stack to answer a call, text or browse the internet you'll be responsible for the clean up. Did I mention my dishwasher is broken? Booyah!

2. Dirty Feet.

This especially hits hard at this time of year - flip flop season. As a side note, flips flops seriously have to be the worst shoe known to man. Not only are they uncomfortable but they are ugly and the sound they make slapping against the feet when you walk is worse than nails on a chalkboard.

But I digress.

I'm in the small group of people who don't really find feet disgusting. I think they are fascinating really. I don't have a foot fetish but feet don't gross me out either. I spent hours looking at my kids feet when they were babies. Mary has impossibly long toes and Emily has big feet (proportionately so - she's tall) Connor's feet are still small enough to be cute.

But we live in a place where wearing shoes in the house is not the norm and so walking around in bare feet that are dirty translates into that dirt going on the floor. Feet sweat more than any other body part so combine dirt with sweat on my floors and furniture and I want to scream.

If you're gonna be barefoot, please keep them clean!!

3. The Sound of People Chewing

I once saw a show about these people who had some kind of illness in which they would go completely ape shit  for what appeared to be no reason. It turned out they were hypersensitive to certain sounds. One girl would loose it at the sound of her own mother's voice (though as the mother of a teenager - I tend to think this is most teens)

Having said that, I get that very same feeling when I hear someone chewing. It's not about chewing with your mouth opened (that's just plain gross) but even people who chew nicely. If I can hear it I get fiercely irritated.  This is probably why the TV is on during meal times in our house, not so we can ignore each other but so that I don't start throwing forks at my family just for chewing their food.

4. When People  Adults Use a Z in Place of an S.

Az in the wordz "kidz" and "hugz".  It'z annoying enough when kidz do it but they're kidz it can be overlooked. But when adultz do it it'z just plain annoying. I'm not zuper zpeller or anything and my grammar zuckz azz but zeeing an adult uze a Z in place of an S zmackz of 40 year oldz trying to ztay young and hip. My guezz iz that theze zame people fall into the 40 year old drezzing like an 18 year old category.

5.  People Who Blow Sunshine Up Other People's Butt's.

You know the people I mean. It's the casual acquaintance who says you look gorgeous in that dress while your real friends are wondering what the hell you were thinking when you bought that? It's the people who gush about how smart/thoughtful/kind you are when in fact you haven't done anything more extraordinary than bring a box of Timbits to work. It's the 'Yes Man'. 

I value honesty above all else in a friend, colleague or acquaintance. Hell an honest stranger is better than a two faced friend. 

Please, don't blow sunshine up my ass. Tell me how you see it. We may not agree but I'll respect you a hell of a lot more if you honour your own thoughts, values and beliefs.

6. The Mommy Wars

I will openly admit that I don't agree with a lot of what other parents do. And I'm positive there are other parents out there who don't agree with how I choose to raise Emily, Mary and Connor. But here's the thing. The only person on earth who gets a say in how I raise my kids is Sean. No one else's opinion matters so save your judgement on my choices to both breast and bottle feed, use disposable diapers, not spank, let my kids watch TV and play video games and let them play in the mud. And I will afford you the same courtesy because unless you are putting your kid's life in danger by filling her bottle with whiskey or beating him with belts for spilling milk - how you raise your kids is none of my damned business.
No one is a better parent for my kids than me. And no one is a better parent for your kids than you. So you raise your kids and I'll raise mine.

7. People Who Must Fill A Silence

I think that says it all. It's okay to sit and be. There doesn't always have to be conversation or humming or other background noise. There is not enough silence in this world so if you find yourself blessed with some - enjoy it! It's NOT awkward. It's heavenly.

8. Referring To Someone As "Years Young" When Saying Their Age

As in "My mom is 65 years young"  Seriously? You all know I'm a glass is half full kind of gal but this expression is not an optimistic one, it's just friggin' stupid.  The one exception to this would be if someone asks "How young are you?"  "I am 38 years young."  But when is the last time you heard a person ask that? I'm thinkin' never.

I understand it's meant to make the person feel not so old but come on, an 89 year old has been around long enough to know he/she is old. It's not going to offend them to say "George is 89 years old."  In fact, I'm betting George agrees with me and is thinking "You douche, say it right!"

9. People Who Post Ambiguous Facebook Status Updates

You know the ones I mean...  "Uh oh! What do I do now??"
                                                "I'm so happy!!"
                                                "I'm sad......"

MORE INFORMATION PLEASE! The point of these is so that all of your FB friends will comment "What's wrong??"  "Why are you so happy?"  "Awww, hugz!!"
If you want some attention post a status saying just that. "Hey friends, I need someone to pay attention to me please." so that the rest of us who simply don't give a shit can move on.

If you genuinely need help or something to share I'm betting you're going to going to ask for it privately or you're going to come right out with it.

"Uh oh! What do I do now? Junior ate my diamond earrings!!"

"I'm so happy, Junior pooped out my diamond earrings!!"

"I'm sad, I need new diamond earrings because there's no way I'm fishing them out of Juniors shit!"

10. People Who Get Mad When They Are Proven Wrong.

What's the big deal? We're all wrong sometimes. It's no big whoop. It doesn't mean anyone thinks your an idiot. It doesn't mean you're not smart. It doesn't mean people don't like you. It means you were misinformed. End of story.

Instead of getting huffy when someone shows you that you were wrong, thank them for showing you what is correct.  Even if they were kind of douchey about how they did it, at the end of the day isn't it better to have a clue and know what you're talking about than to continue to be wrong and look like a yutz? I think so.

But if I'm wrong, please let me know.

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