Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Maid Has Quit

The title is deceptive. I don't have a maid. I did have one, for four visits courtesy of Cleaning for a Reason and it was outstanding. I truly think that when I have some disposable income I may get myself a housekeeper, perhaps once a week.  It all sounds very indulgent to me but after the last two months...I could use some indulging.

A million moons ago when Sean worked nights we went through a pretty sour patch. His working nights doesn't work for us. He doesn't do well with little sleep and I don't do well with feeling like I'm carrying the load. 

But then Sean started working days and we fixed our problems and everything for the past 4 years has been hunky dory.

Until now.

Sean works nights again. Not out of choice really, more out of necessity. I went back to work and in order to avoid putting Connor in daycare we opted to have Sean work nights. It means he's home when Connor gets home from school and I'm home before he has to leave for work. The downside to this is that Sean isn't sleeping well. His biological clock is messed up. He's a light sleeper to begin with but it seems to be amplified when he tries to sleep in a day so things like the washing machine running or the doors opening and closing wake him up. So when he does get up he doesn't have any energy to do anything. This includes things around the house.

Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means saying he sits on his butt or stays in bed all day. He does help out. But it's not as much as he used to so where it used to be a 50/50 situation it's now a 80/20.  (65-35 on his days off work)

But here's the really hard part of all of this.  I'm back at work now. I leave the house at 7 am. I get home at 4 and I don't sit down until 9. Dinner, homework, showers, dishes, tidying, work that I may have brought home, go to this store, run that errand. Did I mention our dishwasher crapped out and we've decided not to replace it? It's not a money issue per se, it's just that neither one of us feels inclined to go buy a new one.  So all our dishes are hand washed again.

I know, you're thinking, what's the big deal? You're life doesn't sound any harder than anyone else's.

It's not. And under normal circumstance I wouldn't complain. But you see. I don't feel good, almost all the time. I'm noticing that my knees, in particular, ache after my herceptin and it doesn't stop for a full 2 weeks. I find myself going down the stairs the same way my Dad did, one at a time and holding the railing with both hands. My body is tired. All the time. It's been through hell and back this past year and I'm still trying to get myself back to some semblance of normalcy. And when you add all of this in with the fact that at work I am also the maid....well something's got to give.

I'm growing increasingly stressed out with my work environment and increasingly irritated with my teaching partner; to the point that I'm grumpy at work and I don't want to be so. I love my job. At least I did.

Things will get better, I know they will. Sean is only working nights for one more week and then he's back on days. For good. There are only 3 weeks left of school and then I've got two more months off to recuperate. I think, at some point before next September I'm going to have a talk with my partner to remind him I'm not his mom or his maid and he needs to work with me to keep a tidy and sanitary classroom - not just for my health but for the kids too. Sloppiness is not an endearing quality.

As for my kids...well, they'll be pitching in a lot more around here, at least they will be if they want money for the summer.

And one day...I'll have a maid.

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