Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Here I am.

I'm so sorry to have been missing for so long. I've been insanely busy and what little time I've had online has been checking in on the PP and FB.

So, here's what's new.

I went for my mammogram last Wednesday. I've learned that when they do a mammo on a mastectomy patient they still do images of the 'vacant' side. They want to see the lymph nodes. (Are there even any left in there??)  It hurt, I'm not gonna lie but it actually hurt more on the mastectomy side because they squeeze a bit of tissue that is sensitive.

Anyhow, the clinic would not forward the results to my medical oncologist because it was my radiation oncologist who ordered the test. Because really, why would my oncologist want to know the results of my first post treatment mammogram? It's this kind of beaurocracy that rubs me.

So when I called my RO to have the results forwarded to my MO the legal secretary (this is who handles the transfer of medical records) told me it was because I had the mammo done in a private clinic rather than the hospital. Note to self for next year, have it done at the hospital. So when she called back to tell me they were sent she said "everything is great."  Now I don't know if she meant everything has gone though great or my results were great. I know she can't tell me that stuff over the phone but when we were talking she'd asked me when I was scheduled to see both my RO and MO and I'd mentioned I also seeing my family Dr soon. I said I was anxious about the results and she said if something showed up they'd call me before my appointment. I want to believe that but then my surgeon knew I had cancer and still made me wait to go and see her. But then I tell myself it's different now. Different doctors and I'm already a cancer patient so they should be more on the ball with things.

So, I wait, I pray, I hope that everything is all clear and I can get on with my life.

I'm going to Vancouver this August. I'm insanely excited and nervous too. I've never traveled alone. Ever. And I don't fly well at all. In fact when Sean and I went to Vegas for our 11th anniversary I cried the whole way there and part of the way back. Maybe I'll be braver flying alone but part of me here's that Alanis Morissette song Ironic in my head. I beat cancer so surely I'll die in a plane crash doing something as selfish as taking a vacation without my family - something only for me.   See where my mind goes?

Anyway, I'm going to Vancouver to crash the wedding of one of my PP sisters. Two of them are there so I'm going to enjoy some sight seeing, have fun at the wedding, possibly risk my life crossing the border with one of them and I'm going to visit with my bff from my early teen years.

I spent most of last week baking. I made a cake for my Senior Kindergarten class graduation. It took me hours to make.

In the interest of the kids privacy I've blurred the middle of the cake. It's the school logo that I drew with edible marker on white fondant.

And then I made 120 cake pops for the grade 8 graduation.

Our little graduates. I made chocolate ones too.

Truth be known I wasn't happy with neither the cake nor the cake pops. The top cake got a but stuck in the pan so it caved in on the side a bit and then the green fondant tore. By that time I was exhausted, it was late and I was frustrated.

The kids and parents didn't care though, the loved it.

My cake pops gave me trouble with the chocolate and the icing mouths not setting. I think it's just been too humid for this stuff to cooperate with me.

But again, everyone was happy so that's what matters.

Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm off for 2 months and I'm thrilled. I'm tired. I'm feeling a little bitter and frustrated with office politics bullshit. I'm welcoming the break and will look forward to the new school year.

And I will do better with my blogging. I'll be around a little more. I've had lots of blog posts floating around in my head, just no time to write them.

See ya soon!

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