The sad part is, I can't blame it on the chemo or the meds or anything else....except for my inability to not eat a great big pile of crap all the live long day.
Remember the many, many times I talked about eating healthier. Well, the funny thing about that is that it doesn't include bags of chips, Oreo cookies or cornbread. And eating rabbit food is all well and good but if you throw in a bowl of cereal at 10 pm then all that has gone to
But, as many other people do, I have an emotional attachment to food. I love food. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm depressed, nervous, excited, scared, bored...the list goes on and on.
I'm starting to see that changing my eating habits is much like quitting smoking. I have to learn to do things differently. I have to learn to watch tv at night without a snack (and no, I don't think having a healthy snack is a good alternative because the fact is, I won't make the right choice) I have to learn to eat smaller meals.
I have made some good changes. I eat a lot less red meat. For the most part, I don't eat processed foods. We do most of our cooking from scratch. But I still have my weaknesses and that's a problem.
I don't typically buy into fad diets, or diets at all for that matter, I just don't think they are long term solutions but I'm starting to think that desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, starting yesterday I'm going on a low carb diet. In fact, outside of fibrous carbs (the ones naturally occurring in fruits and veggies, I'm only allowing myself one small serving of carbs a day, and even then it will be whole grains.) Yesterday, I had three small whole wheat pancakes with a tiny bit of syrup (yeah, I know the syrup was a bad choice but the pancakes were a special thing...we don't normally eat pancakes)
I am going to give this an honest try because the fact that I had to go out and buy new shorts yesterday because my old ones don't fit me anymore is my incentive. And because I have a wedding to go to in August and for reasons I will not indulge, I need to look my absolute BEST!
I will do this!
I've also decided that I'm going to go for the consultation with the plastic surgeon to see about getting my reconstruction done. I've been procrastinating. I've been saying I'll make it my 40th birthday present to myself but why wait if there is no medical reason to?? I want to feel whole again and this will help me do that.
I've been given a second chance at life, I'm going to grab that bitch by the horns and live it up!