Friday, January 1, 2010

so long 2009, hello 2010

I'm not sorry to see the end of that year. It's been shit.

So on FF there was a thread about where you were during Y2K and where you thought you'd be 10 yrs later.

In 1999 we lived in Scarborough. Emily was 3 months old. We had a poker party with John and Jen and my mom and Dad. Sean fell asleep with Emily on his chest at about 11:30 and I didn't want to wake him at midnight but I didn't want to not wake him either.

10 years later, it's hard to believe how much has changed.

We bought and sold out first house and are in our second. We have two more kids. My marriage is stronger than ever. Sean has an awesome job that allows me to be a work at home mom. I've gone back to school and have a plan for the future.
We spent new years eve the same way we did 10 years ago, playing poker with John and Jen and this time, Neil and Bev too. And between us we won $65. Not bad!
Those are the good things.

Of course it wasn't all good, the most obvious being losing my dad. Nothing makes me happier to see the end of 2009 than that. I've learned in the last 10 yrs that life is measured in befores and afters.
There is our life before 2006 - the year from hell. Full of rainbows, sunshine and ignorant bliss. But in 2006 I lost two babies and almost my marriage. Life after 2006, where pregnancy is not fun but stressful and you think twice before you say things.
Life before 2009, when I was able to say with pride and confidence (and again, ignorant bliss) that cancer had not been something in our bloodline (not to say that we haven't lost people we love to cancer but there was that little bit of arrogance that it was not a blood relative so my odds and more importantly, my kids odds, were good) Life after 2009, where I not only realize that my arrogance was ignorant, that my life has been touched by cancer, forever changed and I've had to bury a parent because of it.

And if I could go back over the last 10 yrs there are a few things I would change. My dad would still be here, that would be the biggest. I don't know about the babies I lost because had I not lost them I wouldn't have Connor and I can't imagine life without him. And though 2006 was the year from hell on my marriage, in the long run it made it stronger.

So here's to a new year and a new decade. One in which we look forward instead of back. I am making resolutions this year and with any luck this time next year I can say I kept them. I will lose that 30 lbs. Wii Fit Plus with help with that. (and maybe less chicken wings and beer) I will tighten the purse straps and pay down 50% of the window debt, and not accumulate more. I will continue to get A's in school and work toward my ultimate goal of opening a daycare centre. I will learn to use my new fancy camera and will take our own family portrait for the Christmas card next year.
Most of all though, I plan to finish off 2010 with all the people in my life who started the year with me. And if I'm lucky, maybe I'll even be able to finish it off with a new friend or two.

Happy New Year Everyone!

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