Time is a funny thing. At this time last year I was not 100% sure I'd be here this year. I'll bet you didn't know that. I was good at hiding it. I played it off like I was the pillar of confidence and strength when in fact I was quite frankly, scared shitless.
I was reflecting on the past two years and how, God forbid, if I had to go through that again I'm not sure I could find the strength. In fact, I'm truly astounded that I found the strength to do it at all. I don't want to have to find that strength again, and I hope and pray I never have to.
I've never been one to make resolutions, I've said that before. I think they just set you up for failure - it's like the word itself, resolution, is a curse against that very thing.
Instead, I set goals for the coming year - ways I can improve myself, my life and my relationships.
And so, here are my goals for 2013.
1 - I want to lose at least 30 lbs.
I know it can do it, it's just finding the willpower to do it. I love food too much. But I have to change my attitude. I have to remind myself that I found the strength to beat cancer so finding the strength to not eat 4 pieces of pizza or not going to the Pita Pit for lunch at work should be a cake walk. Did someone say cake? Mmmmmm cake.
In all seriousness I have a gym membership, I have the time to go. I like salad (I'm not being facetious, I really do!) I know how to eat properly. I just need to suck it up and do it.
And because we're going to Florida in July I have a deadline. I'd like to feel comfortable (as can be with one boob) in my bathing suit.
2 - I want to take control of my finances.
Being off work for 6 months set us back a bit because I was 3 of those months without any income. Now that I'm back to work it's time to get this train back on it's rails and keep on chugging. If all goes well I can be debt free in 2 years. Again, self control and will power.
3 - I want to be happy at work.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job still. I'm just not overly thrilled about my work environment and need to take control of that. If it can't be corrected for me, I need to make a change. It will mean stepping out of my comfort zone again but I've become pretty good at that.
4 - I want to add to the notches on my PP mom hug belt.
I think this will be a goal I can accomplish since one of them lives where we're going in Florida and a few live along the way.
5 - I want to spend more quality time with my kids.
Part of that involves less time here. I need to change my system and avoid the computer and internet until after the kids go to bed (well, Connor at least - the other two go to bed at the same time of after me)
6 - I want to be a better teacher.
I love my job. Remember that? And I want to be good at it. And I want the kids I work with to learn - really learn - in a way that is appropriate for their development.
7 - I want to be a better wife.
I know I take Sean for granted and I need to really stop and realize how good I've got it. And I need to let him know I know how good I've got it. 2013 brings us our 15th year of marriage. I'm going to do something big for him. Not sure what yet. Ideas are welcome!
I think that's a pretty hefty list. It's one to work on all year. I'll be back here on December 31st (or so) to see how many of these goals I've accomplished. Hopefully all!
Happy New Year everyone and may your year be filled with love, joy, blessings and good health!