Friday, December 16, 2011

Vanity. Only Skin Deep?

I've never been a particularly vain person. I didn't wear make up for 7 years (except the extremely rare occasion) I only began wearing it again when I went back to work last year and as soon as the warm temps hit and I got some sun on my face I stopped again. Since cancer I've only worn it two or three times just to give myself a boost.

I wasn't overly traumatized about losing the breast, my prosthetic, though heavy and chilly to put on first thing in the morning looks completely natural. I'll admit there are some days where I'm just not 'feeling it' to be topless around Sean but thinking back, I'm sure there were days like that before I righty hacked off. We all have "I'm not feeling so sexy" days. And wardrobe issues have developed with regards to cleavage and the lack there of on the right but it's getting sorted out.

I had a little more trouble with the hair loss but was perfectly content to wear my scarf and wait for my hair to grow back.

The thing is, I want to go back to work in March and let's face it, I'll still be bald. I don't think a scarf everyday will be professional and it will also bring about the questions from all the parents. I don't want to have to deal with that day in and day out. I'm sure they'll all know within an month of my being back to work but it doesn't need to be immediate ("Oh, the head scarf....she has cancer!")

So I went to Blossom and got me a wig.  And holy crap, Thank God for insurance because I had no idea how expensive this stuff is!

It's growing on me. I wear it everyday, even if it's just a few hours, to get used to the feel. At first it felt like it was falling off all the time but I'm getting used to how it should feel and look and I'm starting to really love it. And yet, part of my feels like it's silly vanity. Beauty is more than skin deep, I'm the first to tell my girls that, and justified it with 7 years of not wearing make up and 'dolling' myself up. If someone didn't like the natural me, screw 'em. And yet now, the natural me has one boob and no hair and I do my best to hide that. Strange how things change.

But part of beating cancer is mental and if making myself feel good is wearing a wig and a fake boob then it's on.

At any rate, here it is for all my readers who are no FB friends. My new do.

3 comments:

  1. I love it Jean...seriously a style/color to consider for later!

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  2. LOVE it!! You loook great.

    xo

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  3. Very pretty! Love it! Merry Christmas, friend! Jody

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