After Thanksgiving when all the elves came out to 'play' I was seeing updates of their antics on friends FB pages, one friend in particular is incredibly creative with hers. Well, if there is something fun for Christmas I can't miss out on that so I went out and bought us an Elf.
He made his appearance on the first of December. At first, I wasn't so creative. Awkward (that is the name Connor chose for him, though apparently it's spelled with an O - Okward - because O makes the 'aw' - not AW I don't argue with a 4 year old. ) was sitting on the gingerbread house, or hiding in the fridge. One night he played Scrabble and spelled out "I am still watching" Not bad, but not as good as some of the stuff I've seen.
One night late last weekend when I was feeling particularly crappy from the chemo and not at all interested in being creative I sat Awkward in a flower pot reindeer that Connor made at the Hearthplace Christmas party. Later that evening while watching tv Emily commented that I needed to find better places to display him.
WHAT??!!! I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not doing anything! It's the Elf. He goes back to the north pole every night and reports to Santa.
We should note something. Emily has never officially said she doesn't believe in Santa. Yeah, I know she's 12 but we've long held the belief that she assumed if she said she didn't believe she wouldn't get presents from him. So it was safer to just say she believed.
I had written a note for Awkward to give to the kids, on tea soaked, edge burned paper but try as I might, my handwriting will always look like my handwriting. I'm sure she knew beforehand - she's not an idiot - but this clinched it.
So I told Emily, if she thought she could do a better job of displaying him she should have at it. I even googled some Elf on the Shelf idea sites for her.
Clearly, I underestimated my child and her creative juices. She didn't need help and in fact has put me to shame. I'm also seeing a dark side to my daughter. Wasn't I about her age when I started reading Stephen King?
The sign says "Elf on the Shelf. For Elf, Hot Babes and Cool Guys Only. Exclusive Club"
The sign on the table beside the snowman reads "Bouncer, No Nerds Allowed"
Now, one should note who Awkward is dancing with. Red Hat Barbie. (clearly a cougar - though one must be over 50 to be a Red Hat - I'm not sure what an over 50 cougar is called)
The thing is, the night before this club scene, Awkward was curled up on a makeshift couch with the Barbie in the black dress (Amish Barbie), their baby and their cat, watching TV (though if she's Amish there wasn't a whole lot of TV watching going on....she'd be shunned)
One must deduce from this scene that Awkward got tired of the 'plain' life and went clubbing. His Amish wife followed him and caught him all over another woman. Awkward.....
hmm, Connor had some real foresight in chosing his name I see.
I think that might be what led to this scene.
Our hero, Awkward, is now hanging by his ankles and can either be eaten by a hungry dinosaur, some anxious lions or some tiger cubs. This picture doesn't show it well but the dinosaur has blood on his teeth. It's red and sparkly. So now you know. Elves have sparkly blood.
I can't wait to see what Emily does with Awkward tonight. I've officially handed over the reigns to her. She's awesome.
Oh, and she's finally admitted out loud that she knows there's no Santa. Apparently in 5th grade she saw a Hannah Montana toothbrush under the covers in my bed that ended up in one of their stockings.
It might be the end of that era, but it's the start of a whole new, fun one.