What am I going to do with my life?

I've recently discovered that I'm not really sure what I want to be when I grow up. I started out my career in Early Childhood Education with some really high hopes for making a difference in kids lives. Don't get me wrong, I know I've done that. In 15 years of this work, I know there's at least one kid out there whose life I made a difference in. Funny thing is, it came a time in my life when I really needed the affirmation that I was good at what I do. I was having a bit of a pity party, thinking that maybe I wasn't cut out for this line of work and lo and behold, one of the kids I taught 10+ years ago found me on Facebook. She told me about what an impact that I (and the other teacher in my program) had made on her and that we really helped her develop into who she is (and she appears to have become pretty great teenager) She'll often send notes to Marsha (the other teacher) and I letting us know that she has such fond memories of her time with us. So I'm good with that. If I've never made an impact on anyone else, that's okay, because I did touch one.
When I opened my home daycare it was a means to an end. I wanted nothing more than to be a SAHM. I couldn't bear putting another child of mine in daycare - especially when it was because I was going to work to care for other people's kids. I hated ever second of the 3 yrs I worked and Emily went to daycare. Even when she was home with my mom. I was so very jealous that my mom got to spend that time with her and I didn't. When I found out I was pg with Mary Jo I decided right then and there I was no going back to work. Of course, in reality it wouldn't have been possible for me to stay home had Sean not got the job at the TTC.

I really do get the best of both worlds here. And over the years I've met some really great people and my kids have made some really great friends. But I'm finding that as I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel (read: Connor going to school) I wonder if I'll want to continue doing home daycare.

I'd love to be a writer. Children's books. One hell of an industry to break onto though. Dr Suess' first book And to Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street was rejected something like 37 times before a publisher took it on. I've only been rejected 6 and I'm running out of publishers who accept unsolicited manuscripts. I've got a long way to go. I need to make some connections in the industry. LOL

I'd like to be a Kindergarten teacher. Had I had the money many moons ago I would have gone to University instead of college and would be one now. I could go back to school but by the time Connor is in school I'll be almost 40. I have a hard time seeing me going to classes with a bunch of 19 yr olds.

I'd like to open a daycare centre (not in my house) Or rather, I'd like to buy and existing one because frankly, there's less red tape involved.

I'd like to open an indoor playground. At the moment this is the front runner of my ambitions. But until I can actually put a plan in action I hesitate to think beyond the what if's.

And of course, there's always the prospect of going to work at the TTC with Sean. I'm not sure if I'm willing to give up my life like that though. I hate it when he has to work on Christmas and other holidays....I'd hate it a hell of a lot more if I did.

Well, Connor's only 15 months. I've got time to figure my life out.