Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Shame, shame, double shame....

I've been bad about blogging lately and I'm sorry. I've been wrapped up in everything that has happened over the past few weeks. We had Sean's birthday (uneventful, he worked) We had Father's Day (uneventful, he worked again) We had the first anniversary of losing my dad. Connor and I took my mom out to lunch. We also bought a new koi for the pond. I think that will be our thing on the 21st of June every year. Of course, in order to accommodate this new tradition we'll need to have a fishgate before had to make room in the pond.
What's fishgate you ask? Well, I'll tell you.
My dad's thing was the pond. Eventually, as his health failed he didn't have the dexterity to tinker with the cars, he couldn't golf and couldn't work. He couldn't even drive. But - he had his pond and he took care of that thing like it was his baby.
When he died my mom took over this task (good thing too - I don't think I have the patience to deal with it) and cleans the pond on a regular basis. So one day, if I recall, early in June, mom decided to empty the pond and give it a good scrub (this needs to be done several times over the season in order to keep the pond healthy) But she needed to get right to the bottom of it (the pond is roughly 5 ft deep)
So she caught all the fish (4 large koi and 5 smaller pond goldfish) and put them in a big Rubbermaid garbage can to hold them while she cleaned the pond out. When she was done and had enough water put back in she started putting the fish back. But being on the horizontally challenged side she couldn't reach them in the garbage can, tipped it over and fish were flopping all over the lawn. My mom scrambled to grab them all and literally throw them back into the pond.
All but one large koi survived fishgate. Ironically he was the one the kids had named Lucky. Just not so.

I had my garage sale. It was an overwhelming flop. If it weren't for my brother (or should I say my pushiness in not letting him leave with money in his wallet) I would have barely sold a thing. The girls did sell their golf balls though and a couple of ribbons so they were pleased! I posted the leftovers for sale on Kijiji and so far I've sold $100 worth of stuff in two days. Nice!! Now if only I hadn't have blown half of that taking the kids to Cedar Park today. Especially since it was cold!! (that's a relative term. It was about 18 degrees Celsius (64 for my Fahrenheit minded friends) but it was also a north wind blowing and being in water - cold.

That brings me to my confessions. A lot of them.
Get ready.

Confession #1. Though I am *officially* finished doing home daycare I still have one daycare child for the summer. I figured that Mary would be nagging me to invite her with us whenever we went somewhere anyway, I may as well get paid for it. Plus, I really do love this kid. It's impossible to be a caregiver to someone for 6 yrs and not grow to love/care for them. But I also know I won't miss her since she will undoubtedly be invited over on weekend often.

Confession #2. Though I will miss the other kids I care for I am not the least bit sad to be done with home daycare. I will miss working from home (especially when I have to commute in the winter) but I am not sorry to not have to deal with the issues home daycare brings. More importantly I'm not sorry that I don't have to deal with other people's toddlers on a regular basis anymore.

Confession #3. I will miss the parents. I truly like them all. I think in other circumstances we could have even been friends and though I'm sure if I really tried I could build that personal friendship with some of them, when it comes to the personal level I'm just too shy of a person. But for a while it was really nice knowing (in real life) people who had kids in the same age group as Connor and Mary.

Confession #4. I'm terrified that I'm either going to really really suck at my new job or that I'm going to hate it. Either one would be disastrous.

There you have it.

We interviewed a babysitter this evening. She's only 14 but she's not babysitting Connor, only the girls on random days after school when my mom can't pick them up. I liked her. She's innocent. She's smart and she's got a wonderful 'resume'. I met her mom too (which was important because it gives me an idea of where she's coming from) In fact, this girl was so squeaky clean that Sean joked afterward...."So what, is she running for Jesus?" But it was genuine, not an act.
What I liked most about her was that she wasn't that much older than Emily. I didn't want a babysitter for Emily, she's 11 and doesn't need it. But she'll be a good mentor for her I think and that is something Em could benefit from. I hope it works out.

And one final note.
I have 12 days left on my membership for Fertility Friend and though it's only $10 for a 300 day renewal I've decided not to renew. To some this seems inconsequential but not only did this site help me through trying to conceive, two losses and my pregnancy with Connor but it brought me to my support system. I don't know anyone outside of my brother who has children Connor's age and while I can talk to my brother and sister in law about all things toddler it's only one point of view. And hearing about the habits of 20 two and a half year olds is better than hearing about only 1. Because ever kid is different but if he's pretty well on par with the other then I know things are okay. And there are more momma's out there who understand.
But - my time is done. I'm not planning anymore kids. I've got a new home with my sister in the pumpkin patch and I'm to the point now that I'm tired of reading the same posts over and over about weaning from the pacifier and how cows milk is white poison (yahuh! I kid you not! It's there) It's time to move on. I think I'll have a bit of withdrawal but I'm sure once I start work it will be enough to update my status on FB and check in with the pumpkin patch in between the real life I lead.

Wow - see what happens when I don't post for a long time. I get blogging diarreah!

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