Tsk tsk

Bad little blogger. It's been too long since I wrote. It's not for lack of things to say, just a lack of time.

So let's get busy.

I'm pondering yet another career change, though with a lot of anxiety. I thought at first that getting into the school board this early in the transition to full day learning would be bad. There are going to be issues with the ECE's and the teachers, a pissing contest if you will, but I also see the merits in getting in. Union. Better pay. Pension. School holidays off with my kids. And the best part, fulfilling a dream to be a kindergarten teacher.
So I'm applying to all four boards (Durham public and Catholic and Toronto public and Catholic.) The clincher of this of course being that I need to have a Pastoral Reference Letter to apply to the catholic boards and I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to get one. I'm still waiting on the Priest to call me back and I'm a nervous wreck. I'll keep you posted.

I've discovered that I'm raising a mall walker. On Monday mornings I don't have any daycare kids here so Sean and I go to the mall. Of course, it's not open until 10 so we just walk and window shop. With the little old ladies and little old men. And Connor joins right in. He loves the freedom of being able to walk around the mall when it's not open because it's just us and the mall walkers and I don't worry about Grampa trampling him (though I do worry about him tripping Grampa!)
I wonder about my future. When the stores start opening the mall walkers all gather at Timmies or the food court and they drink their tea and eat their muffins and they all know each other (it's like the old people version of my high school days hanging out in the food court and Woodside Mall) The yell things at each other across the food court, they giggle and they seem to be in cliques.
I wonder if Sean and I will be like that when we're older. I wonder if my mom thought she and my dad would be like that now? And then I get sad.

Finally, today was my EDD for Violet. Had I not miscarried I would be planning a third birthday party sometime around now. As always I say how bittersweet this day is. If I hadn't have lost this baby I wouldn't have Connor now. And while this day three years ago was incredibly hard, it was also joyous because I had also just learned that I was pregnant with Connor. Everything happens for a reason. We may not always like it when it happens but I think in the end, the outcome is worthwhile.

And Connor is certainly worth my while.

What do my addiction and Eddie Vedder have in common?

In order to answer that question you have to know what my addiction is first.

I am addicted to Breathe Right Nose Strips. (well, in fairness, the generic version because the Breathe Right are expensive)
See, I snore. I'll admit it. I snore pretty loud too. I think it's a combination of sleep apnea, excess weight and a narrow palate. And when I'm pregnant it's 100 times worse (no, I'm not pregnant) So when I was pregnant with Connor I started using the nose strips to help reduce the snoring a bit. I discovered that I really could breathe better. I slept better. I didn't wake up with the pasty mouth. So after Connor was born I kept using them. And now I can't stop.

I've been having some sinus pain in the last few days and it's starts in my nose and moves into my eye. I don't have a sinus infection, I'm not sick, so I think it's because of the pulling of these strips on my nose. But I can't get into the Dr to see for sure for another two weeks. (well I could but I don't want to take time off work) So last night, on Sean's recommendation I went to bed without my nose strip on.

At 11:00 I was still awake. At 12:00 I was in a mid sleep but still aware of Sean next to me. At 12:45 Connor started crying because he couldn't find his soother. So I got up, got a nose strip on and was asleep in minutes. I could breathe. Oh wonderful breathing!!

So, I'll happily deal with whatever sinus issue this is causing me because Lord knows, I need my sleep!

Now what does this having in common with Eddie Vedder? Well, I'm sure any Pearl Jam fans have put it together by now. But if not go watch this video and then come back.

I'm not a huge Pearl Jam fan. I don't own any of their albums. I think I had one, back in the 90's when I was dating a guy who was a giant Pearl Jam fan but like I said, I'm not going to any concerts anytime soon.
I am however, a big Eddie Vedder fan. I truly think he's got the best voice there is. He just makes you feel it. So when I heard 'Just Breathe' on the radio a few weeks ago I had to have it and immediately went to iTunes for it. It reminded me of the soundtrack for Into The Wild (which if you haven't seen this movie...you are missing one hell of a movie) which is at first what I thought it was from. It's an awesome movie but the soundtrack makes it even better - no one can inspire you and make you want to hurl yourself from a bridge all at the same time like Eddie Vedder can.

And so now I have my song, I also got the soundtrack from the movie and it's all nicely mixed into my playlist now.

And so, if you still haven't figured it out yet....what do my addiction and Eddie Vedder have in common? Just Breathe.