Earlier this week the 8th grade was making their Confirmation. This is a very big deal for Catholics because it is, as an 'adult' that you are choosing to become (stay) a Catholic. You see, generally Catholics are Baptized as infants or children, therefore their parents making them Catholics. Confirmation is reaffirming our desire to further our journey of faith. Most of our Sacraments are performed by a Priest but Confirmation is performed by a Bishop. And if you've never seen a Catholic Bishop before....here's a pic. Note in particular, the hat. We'll get back to that.
Anyhow, Mary (and the choir) was asked to sing at the Confirmation. So, naturally I took her.
I sat at the back of the church, partially because we got there quite late but also because my kid wasn't being confirmed so I didn't want to be in the way of the families celebrating. The pews a couple of rows behind me were reserved for the Knights of Columbus, see their pics below and again, notice the hats. They led the processional at the beginning of the mass.
Behind me was a little girl, I'm guessing about 4. She was sitting with who I think was her grandparents and her Dad. I'm also assuming that her Mom was one of the candidates sponsor so she was sitting up at the front of the church. The little girl wasn't keen on this and every now and again would whine "Mommy" "Mommy"
This was clearly making Dad annoyed and each time he would say to her "Stop it or I'm going to take you outside" "Stop it, you sound like a baby!" "Stop it, or we're going outside!"
After 20 minutes of this I wanted to turn around and say "Pal, grow a set and take the kid outside. Otherwise, shut up because you're more annoying than she is!" But I didn't, what with being in the house of God and all.
Now we've reached the point of the mass where the Bishop is sealing the candidates with oil to bring the Holy Spirit upon them. It's very quiet. It's very solemn. It's the heart of the ceremony. Little Miss behind me starts whining again. "Mommy" "Mommy"
Dad starts throwing out empty threats again "Stop it or we're going outside"
"Mommy"
"That's enough, do you want me to take you outside?"
"Mommy"
"Stop it"
"Mommy"
This is the point in which most parents would probably finally reach that follow through point and take the child outside. But not this parent. Nope, instead he said, loud enough to be heard by at least the whole back of the church and likely right up to the front given how quiet it was....
"Stop it or that man in the funny hat is going to come and get you!!"
Three rows in front of me turned around to see who said it.
The K of C (in their funny hats) glared over at him.
I'm quite certain the Bishop (in his funny hat) heard him too.
I truly wanted to clap and say "Well done, douche bag. Way to go."
Apparently though, the threat of an angry Bishop wasn't much more intimidating than the threat of going outside because not a minute later....
"Mommy"
