I am all for students in the workplace. I work in a field in which high school, college and university students do field placements. I also think that students taking summer jobs is a must. It keeps them out of trouble, builds character and gives them their own money. My kids will be strongly encouraged to work in the summer.
There are however, some jobs that students, whether they be volunteer or paid should just not be allowed to do. Receiving a deceased persons ashes should be one of those things.
My dad's funeral was on June 25. There are only two crematoriums for all of Durham Region so we knew it would take a week or two to get his ashes back. Monday was almost 5 weeks.
So on Monday my mom called the funeral home to find out what was taking so long.
Here's the story. A student was the one who received the ashes at the funeral home. On July 2nd. One short week after his funeral. This student did not log it into 'the book' so no one with a grain of sense knew the ashes were there. Or perhaps I should rephrase that because you have a box of ashes there that are not being picked up...one would think that anyone with a grain of sense would think "Hmmm, maybe I should see if anyone is coming for these ashes."
So, it was a prime example of passing the blame buck.
In the end though, my mom got my dad's ashes. I'm not sure if I mentioned before but they are in a nice biodegradable box that is infused with wildflower seeds. The box gets 'planted' and next year wild flowers will grow in it's place. At first we were going to plant the box in the garden near the pond but the biggest problem with that is that if we ever decided to move.....well, you see the problem there.
So my mom bought a nice big planter. Huge. It's lovely. And it can go on the porch, which is fitting because that is where my dad spent many of his last days. And the girls never have to know (so for my readers who know me IRL, please don't mention it to them) Emily gets wigged out just going into my dad's room. She'd never go into the backyard if she knew.
I think it's a fitting resting spot. In the backyard, near his pond. I think it will do my mom's heart well to have him close by.
As for the funeral home if we use them again they'll be getting strict instructions about students and my loved ones ashes.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
One step forward, two steps back
I hate quitters. Okay, hate is probably a strong word but I really dislike quitters. I also hate quitting myself. I try to attack each task before me with the attitude that I will finish it and it will be great.
I gave Connor his soother back yesterday. Bedtime has progressively become a battle. A nightmare. It got to the point that he was in hysterics and hitting me at bedtime. He normally gets put on time out when he hits but I can't very well give the kid a time out when I'm trying to put him to bed and he's upset because his evil mother took his security away.
So yesterday at naptime we endured the same. "Connor, it's time for night night" This is followed by Connor crying, saying no and asking for his doo doo.
I remind him that his doo doo is all gone and put him to bed with his lovey. I then head back to get one of the daycare babies ready for her nap.
5 minutes later she's in bed (in the playpen in the girls room) and Connor is still in his room screaming and crying. He finally settles about 5 minutes later but he's still whimpering enough that daycare baby can hear him so she's not going asleep either (and she needed it, the poor thing was falling asleep on mom's shoulder at the door when she was dropped off)
Well, that was all the incentive I needed. I caved in and gave the boy his soother.
And he went right to sleep.
And last night at bedtime, he went right to sleep, not even a whimper. No fighting, no hitting, no crying.
So I know that even though I've sent him a mixed message and I've done the total opposite of what I would tell other mom's to do...I did the right thing.
He's not even 2. We have time and it's only in bed.
And when the time comes that we have to get rid of it for real, he'll be older, he'll understand better and I got an awesome tip from another mom. We'll go to Build A Bear and have his doo doo stuffed into a bear.
I gave Connor his soother back yesterday. Bedtime has progressively become a battle. A nightmare. It got to the point that he was in hysterics and hitting me at bedtime. He normally gets put on time out when he hits but I can't very well give the kid a time out when I'm trying to put him to bed and he's upset because his evil mother took his security away.
So yesterday at naptime we endured the same. "Connor, it's time for night night" This is followed by Connor crying, saying no and asking for his doo doo.
I remind him that his doo doo is all gone and put him to bed with his lovey. I then head back to get one of the daycare babies ready for her nap.
5 minutes later she's in bed (in the playpen in the girls room) and Connor is still in his room screaming and crying. He finally settles about 5 minutes later but he's still whimpering enough that daycare baby can hear him so she's not going asleep either (and she needed it, the poor thing was falling asleep on mom's shoulder at the door when she was dropped off)
Well, that was all the incentive I needed. I caved in and gave the boy his soother.
And he went right to sleep.
And last night at bedtime, he went right to sleep, not even a whimper. No fighting, no hitting, no crying.
So I know that even though I've sent him a mixed message and I've done the total opposite of what I would tell other mom's to do...I did the right thing.
He's not even 2. We have time and it's only in bed.
And when the time comes that we have to get rid of it for real, he'll be older, he'll understand better and I got an awesome tip from another mom. We'll go to Build A Bear and have his doo doo stuffed into a bear.
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