The New Me.

It's been an interesting day. Ups and downs.

I woke up feeling pretty good, despite my horrible sleep and bad back.

I was getting cabin fever and it's such a gorgeous day that I decided we should all go for a walk at the beach. I managed to find something to wear that would discretely hide my drainage tubes (it's not so much the lack of breast that bothers me but the drainage tubes/bulbs are gross) 

We got to the beach and walked for maybe 20 minutes before the nurse called and said she was on her way.

So home we went.

Apparently, this nurse had been here before, two years ago, for my Dad. She was really nice then and still is now.

So, she thought I should take off the outer bandages today. I've got suture bandages holding my incision together (no stitches) but the outer dressing needed to come off to make sure there was no oozing, redness, etc.  I got my first look at the new me.

I wasn't really surprised with how it looked. (I'd seen pics online and in books) but I was surprised at how numb the area still is. I am also very wary of the drainage tubes which are only held in with one stitch and a bit of tape. Don't want to pull those out or get infected.

She did say I could wear a sports bra so I might give that a try the next time I go out.

I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet. Emily took a peek, I was so proud of her, I AM so proud of her and how she's handling all this. She wasn't all like "eeewwww gross!!" and she didn't seem weirded out either. She asked to see it and was genuinely interested. 

So, I was feeling down about this, about the pain, about being drugged, about feeling useless and the doorbell rang and the florist was there with a lovely 5 stemmed (for health) bamboo plant from my PP sisters. And not two minutes later the doorbell rang again and it was an Edible Arrangements delivery, also from my PP sisters. They have like a psychic sense that I needed a pick me up.

So, now I'm stuffed full of chocolate covered strawberries, I sat outside in the beautiful sunshine and played cards with my mom and I feel on top of the world again.

It doesn't take much.