Afraid of a Little Kitty?

In May of 2011 we had to put our cat Snickers down. She had a giant growth under her tongue that the vet suspected was cancerous. I love my pets but didn't see the need to put her through the pain of testing and surgery just to extend her life for my benefit. She's an animal and wouldn't have understood why she was in pain and unable to eat.

Anyhow, about a week later we got another cat.  This is Chicklets on the day we got him. 

He's a cutie, isn't he?

He was a pretty cuddly kitten, loved to be petted, snuggled up next to you on the couch and was playful. For the first couple of weeks after we got him he would sleep with us at night in our bed.

He eventually grew out of his lap cat ways, more so when we brought him home a playmate, this little guy....Licorice. Licorice, though a year younger is the dominant cat in their little hierarchy. 

But every now and then Chicklets still comes in for a cuddle. 

One night, just a few days after we first got Chicklets I woke up in the middle of the night because he was licking my right armpit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I thought maybe he liked the salty taste (it was hot and I was sweating) 

He did it again a few days later.

If you google 'cats smell cancer' you will read hundreds of stories, both in credible media and some not so much, of cats and kittens licking, pawing or otherwise focusing on their owners body, in particular, the area that is cancerous. 

Is it a coincidence then, that my brand new kitten went several times for my right arm pit, the very one in which the cancerous lymph nodes were discovered....a mere 9 days after we brought him home? 

I'm sure many of my readers will think I'm a total crackpot for even suggestion that my kitten detected my breast cancer before I did. Maybe I am. 

But any cat owner will tell you that cats have some kind of wisdom,  beyond our comprehension, you need simply to look into their eyes. They know things. They are deep. They aren't like other animals; a person chooses a dog and as long as you love it, feed it, play with it and walk it, the dog will love you back. No, cats are not like that. They choose you. You can give it all the food and love and attention in the world but if the cat doesn't like you, it will never like you. And by God, you'll know it. 

What's this all about you ask? Well, I am thoroughly convinced my cat Chicklets detected my breast cancer before I was aware of the lump that led to my diagnosis. 

And because of that, I'm terrified of my cat. 

I love my cat, I pet him everyday, feed him, etc. but on those rare occasions when he feels the need to jump up into my lap for a cuddle it scares the living hell out of me. 

He's done it twice in the past past 4 weeks since my surgery. Once he felt he needed to climb up on me while I was laying down and slept on my hip (because I wouldn't let him climb up all over my sore boobs) 

Last night he felt the need to snuggle up on my lap while I played candy crush. 

And I let him but the whole time he was there, all I could think about was "Why are you here? Why do you need to sit with me? What do you want? Are you trying to tell me something??"

I'm sure my cat just wanted a little love, but it doesn't make me feel any better.  Does he know something I don't? 

I sure as hell hope not.