CPAP? More like C Crap!

For those of you 'in the know' I'll bet you can see where I'm going with this one.

In January I went for a sleep study. You see, I snore. Like a chainsaw. It was to the point that my poor husband spent most nights on the couch instead of on our brand new super comfy mattress.

I know that most of the snoring is because of my weight but I decided a sleep study was in order just to be sure that I didn't have apnea.

Well apparently I do (though to be honest, I tend to believe that if every single person went for a sleep study they would all be diagnosed with apnea. I mean truly, have you ever heard of anyone who had a sleep study who wasn't told they had apnea? Just my thoughts)

Anyhow, for anyone who's never had the pleasure of a sleep study it involves being hooked up to  to more wires and electrodes and shit than they had me hooked up to when they removed my breast and then expecting you to sleep. Funny right? They tape things to your face. They wrap belts around your chest and stomach, put you in a strange bed and tell you to sleep like you normally do. Because every other night I'm wired up like a 1980's stereo system.

So now I've got a CPAP machine.

I promise you I went into this with an open mind. I thought, hey if I *thought* I was sleeping well (my snoring doesn't bother me, it bothers everyone else!) and then I used the CPAP machine maybe I'd sleep even better and feel like a million bucks.

I got this mask

Mine's pink though. Sexy huh? The kids call it my elephant mask.

I'm not sold. I've had it since Friday and I've only had two good nights with it. It's uncomfortable. It shoots air into your nose at a much stronger pressure than you're used to with breathing and it makes me hyperventilate. Not to mention the smell. Blah!

I've learned that having a nose mask and allergies doesn't always work. Often times I can't breathe through both nostrils and since you can't breathe out of your mouth with this mask - breathing becomes an issue.

I called the respiratory therapist to try another mask but he said to keep working with this one a while longer because he's positive if he gives me the fighter pilot mouth mask I won't wear it at all. I know he's right.

I'll keep trying. Last night was a good night so I'm feeling more optimistic today.

Here's the thing though. Once upon a time I looked forward to bedtime. My favorite time of day. I LOVE to sleep and I LOVE my bed.

I'm not feeling that love anymore and that upsets me more than anything.