Blah!

If I've ever been unsure about having a reconstruction done, all that uncertainty flew out the window today. For you see, I went bathing suit shopping.

Most women who weigh more than 16 lbs don't really enjoy bathing suit shopping. I mean, what other piece of clothing do we wear in public clings to us and reveals all that is evil about our bodies? Our gitch....but they're hidden under our clothes.

It's even less fun when you have to buy your bathing suit at the mastectomy boutique. They had a lot of really pretty suits, there were certainly enough to choose from but there are some logistical issues with having only one breast and trying to buy swimwear.

First off, the lack of cleavage. We've talked about this before here. I loved my cleavage once upon a time. From the angle I'm looking at myself, I can see the lack of muscle, fat, skin in that area. So despite the prosthetic building up the breast, it doesn't build up the cleavage. I notice it. I'm sure others don't though they might thinking something's ' not quite right but can't put my finger on it'. There's also the scar. It's not high up but it's high enough that wearing anything lower cut runs the risk of it peak a booing out.

Then there's the size of the girls. Prosthetics really do act like real breast, they do flop around and jiggle and such but when one is well endowed an underwire is usually needed in a bra to support them. An underwire is out of the question with a prosthetic because, well any woman who's ever worn and underwire bra can tell you, the underwire always ends up coming out of the bra. You don't want that bad boy poking a hole in your boob.

So here's the problem. You have one boob that is supported wonderfully because it's tucked into the pretty little pocket of the bathing suit. Then you have the other one that is slowly drooping down because A: lack of support and B: gravity.   After a while you've got one pointing north and one pointing south.

At any rate, I found a swim suit I'm somewhat happy with. My boobs are staying where they should. I don't look like a total cow. And it's only cost me $100. (yeah, shocked the shit outta me too) I'm hoping the insurance will cover it.

And now, I'm more certain than ever....I'm getting my reconstruction done.