I've met a lot of cancer patients in the last 6 months. Not one of them has been crabby, bitchy, rude or unkind. Is it because their mortality has been thrown directly in their faces? Probably. Once you've truly faced your own mortality (and I say truly because we all cognitively understand we're mortal but to really know it in your very heart and soul because you are quite literally fighting for your life, it's just plain different) you see things differently.
I know I'm generalizing things and I'm quite certain there are lots of cancer patients out there who are not the least bit happy. I haven't met them though - or if I have they are Oscar worthy actors.
I've been keeping myself really busy lately. I made rainbow cupcakes with rainbow icing after seeing them on pinterest and they turned out fabulous (and oh so yummy!)
I got a KitchenAid mixer for Christmas and am working my way through recipes with it. I'm getting to be a pretty good cook but the one thing I just can't seem to make is bread. No matter how hard I try, no matter what type of recipe, what type of yeast, how long I let it rise....it always ends up dense and heavy. Sean jokes that he's saving them as chalks for the cars. The last two loaves I made I thought would finally be the ones. They rose so beautifully and looked amazing when I put them in the oven and then I don't know what happened but they fell. I blame it on my heavy footed children. Yeah, that's it.
But I'm not one to give up so I'll get it right one of these days
I've been on a cleaning frenzy too. I'm finding more and more of my energy coming back but when I crash I crash hard. On Monday my brother dropped me off at radiation and then went to take the kids to school. I was finished before the school bell rang so I thought I'd start walking home and my brother could just pick me up en route. I walked halfway home and for the rest of that day (and today too) my legs have been killing me. It's the most exercise I've had in months.
Tomorrow I'm going to a workshop for work. I know, I'm not working. But I saw the workshop and thought it would be a nice way to get out of the house, talk with some colleagues and feel normal. I can't wait!
Normal is good.
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